Author: brinker8705

Things I Learned From A Man

Many years ago I met a man. He was vastly different than any other man I knew at that time in my life. He was tender, kind, gentle, soft spoken, and so drastically different than any other. This man was a husband, a father, a friend, a veteran, and probably one of the most compassionate and empathetic people I have ever known. He was so vastly different that it scared me. I didn’t understand him. What was this? Why was this? Why was I so different form him?

Growing up, I never knew this kind of gentleness. I knew harsh, tough love. I knew hiding emotions and not expressing yourself. I didn’t know or understand opening up or being vulnerable. Because I saw those things in this man that were so different from my own experiences, I did not embrace them. As I pushed these things away further and further he continued to show love and kindness towards me and everyone else around him. This confused and frustrated me more. Why was I deserving of such love and tenderness? He shouldn’t care.

Fast forward many years later… The love and affection never ceased. Through ups and downs and highs and lows, I know that he cherished what relationship we had. As I went through those years and embarked on a journey of self discovery and growth, I realized that he had something I wanted and envied so much. It was only after removing myself from my surroundings that I was able to see it clearly. What I wanted was to be that man… The one who loved and cared and gave freely of himself to anybody and everybody. The one who was calm, patient, kind, gentle, and understanding. I wanted what he had. Peace.

I made a promise to him several years ago. I told him I would watch after his loved ones and do my best to insure their futures. I wasn’t able to keep that promise for several years. In fact, I went in the opposite direction at times. But the universe has a weird way of shaping things. Several weeks ago I was able to express to him my intent and recognition of that promise and my renewed desire to keep it in any way possible. I have been placed in a unique situation where I have been brought back to where it all began and I have had the ability to help and assist his loved ones in times of need. I knew several months ago that this was the reason for my situation. I was able to go back and mend wounds and help like I had never helped before.

Back to the point of me writing this… What I learned from him. I learned that being calm, gentle, thoughtful, kind, vulnerable, peaceful, and loving are some of the best things in this world. What you do for other people and how you impact them in positive ways is all that matters. It will never be about fancy or expensive things. It is the human connections that you form and grow throughout your lifetime. I was able to view what I wanted to become. I was able to see the role model that I wanted to evolve and grow into. I wanted to be that intelligent, calm, peaceful man that I had so much respect for. I was never able to express that to him and that pains me greatly.

Today we lost him. The world lost a shining example of a human. A father, a husband, a friend, and a role model. My regret is not expressing to him what he meant to me, but I believe he knew it somewhere inside of himself. My desire in life is to continue to show and express the things I learned from him. The things I shunned before but I now embrace and cherish about myself. Love, kindness, and all those other things I mentioned before. Tim Roettker was a man I envied years ago but now I respect and admire more than I ever thought I could.

He will be sorely missed by any and all that knew him. His presence in a room was always valued and respected. Going forward, I hope that I can share his memory and the things I learned from him with the world. I aspire to be half the man he was. I learned from him what it really meant to be a man. Kind, gentle, loving, peaceful, thoughtful, caring, understanding, calm, uplifting… You will forever remain in my thoughts and my heart, Tim. Thank you for teaching me lessons I didn’t want to learn all those years ago. I intend to keep my promise to you as best I can. Rest in peace.

Leveling Up

Recently I have realized something about my life. All of the difficult things that you go through can either make you or break you. The outcome is determined by your mindset and your perspective while enduring those things. I believe that after you have endured those things and you look back on them, you aren’t the same person that you were before. If these situations are handled appropriately, you come out the other side leveled up.

What I mean by leveling up is this… Your knowledge, wisdom, and experience levels increase. Your perspective changes. Hopefully, you are more empathetic to other people and their lives and situations. You become softer, more kind. You realize what matters and what doesn’t. You do things for people because it is the right thing to do and not because you want anything in return from it. You are just absolutely and completely different than you were before.

Besides dealing with difficulties in life, I believe you can level yourself up and broaden your horizons through seeking out knowledge, wisdom, information, and experience. It could be the open and unbridled conversation with a stranger. It could be following someone else’s life through videos, blogs, social media, or right next to you. Seeing things from multiple perspectives and through many different eyes can also change you. I do, however, feel as though there aren’t many seekers in the world.

The reason this has all been on my mind recently is that I have realized once and for all that I do not fit in. I never have. I’m almost completely certain I never will. From a young age I was exposed to and experienced things that made me question everything. I asked why. I was curious and inquisitive. That makes people uncomfortable and they tend to shy away from and reject those types of people because of their own self doubt, insecurities, fears, or issues. As I have gone through my life I have not stayed in my lane. I have not avoided bumping into the walls. I have not gone with the flow or done what I was told to do. This has set me apart from others my entire life. It has been a blessing and a curse.

I have experienced massive highs and lows and every level in between. My constant mission throughout this journey has been to improve and grow. I have always been a seeker, regardless of what state my world has been in. And now… As I look around at the people near me, I feel as though I do not fit in for a host of new reasons that were completely unforeseen. Because of my experiences in my life and my attitude towards it all, I have been leveled up immensely. It has been unpleasant and uncomfortable, but it has been worth it.

I understand how this may come off to you reading it. I had a conversation with someone recently that he thought that I just thought I was better than everybody. I do not feel that way at all and that is not the intent or purpose of me writing this. I have a desire to share with the world that growth, change, and evolution are possible and worthy of your efforts to achieve. It is, as I have said before, uncomfortable and slightly unpleasant at times. But it is worth it. I am neither better or worse than any other human. I am different. And I always have been and I always will be. But that is where your super powers are in life. Knowing that nobody has your life, your experiences, your vision, or your voice is what makes you so special. And what makes you great is using those things to help other people.

Here is where I have run into issues with other people and talking about things like this. People reject what they do not understand. I have found that one hundred percent of the time they do. Learning new things is uncomfortable and sometimes unpleasant. People do not like either of those things at all. Most people would like to stay in their blissful comfort zone of life. Never bouncing into the walls or questioning things. And the really scary part of it all is that a mind that is stretched cannot return to the previous state. Once you go down the path of seeking you will not return. I feel like people understand that on some level and understand that they should avoid it to avoid discomfort. I even had a conversation with someone recently about that very thing. They did not want to start walking down that path or drop into the rabbit hole for fear of where it might lead.

And I guess here is where I am now… My desire to express this and encourage others has lead to some conflicts. I cannot remain silent when other people tear other people down or say and do mean or hurtful things to others. I want to help people build their big buildings while I make mine bigger. I feel as though there are going to be friendships and relationships fall by the wayside as I pursue more levels in my life and my world around me. I’m uncertain as to whether this will be worth it or not, but I believe it will be. My goals going forward in life are big, vast, broad, and deep. I was people that think that way around me. I want people around me that encourage and lift other people up. I want people that think and talk about the deep stuff. The hard things… What matters. I don’t want small, closed minded humans around me that are only concerned with themselves.

The last thing I will say is this. I have always been ambitious. I have always felt like there is more to life and the world than what people had told or shown be before. I guess this blog is a call out for like-minded humans that want to go do things in their lives and the lives of others. I’m looking for you all. If you are looking for someone or something… Put it out into the universe. Put that energy out on the internet, into the people around you, and express it in all of your day to day relationships and interactions.







Our Minds Are Amazing

I wanted to share this video. I have shared some videos from Jason Silva and Shots of Awe before. But this is the first time sharing anything from Lewis Howes and The School of Greatness podcast. Both of them are incredible men that I look up to and aspire to be like. This talk with Jason is amazing. I identify so strongly with him. And I love what Lewis is doing with this podcast so much that I am going to start my own very soon.

Hope you enjoy!

Honing My Skills

This is a project I did for a friend. I intentionally went all out on the effects and the editing on this. The next several videos I do will be of different genres, speeds, and styles to showcase all the things I can do. This project took me roughly twenty-four hours of total work to get done. I am sure I can do it in less, but I was very happy with it all when it was finished.

I’m looking to do more of these for other businesses or people. With or without effects and crazy editing like this. I’m honing my skills as I go and I am also teaching others how to do photo, video, and editing.

Valentines Day

I wanted to make a video about the dogs anyways, but Valentines Day seemed appropriate to me for some reason so I did it. Check it out!

I also have been putting in a great deal of work to be better at editing and creating videos. There are so many intricate details to videos. So much to think about and do. I hope you like it!

My Latest Little Project

I’m really proud of this little video. I have a dream for my blog and YouTube channel and social media. This is the beginning…

Feel free to share my videos or any of my content from this time forward.

You Deserve This…

I watched an episode of Gary Vaynerchuk’s show on YouTube. Ask Gary Vee is the show name. It featured the artist Jewel. I hadn’t seen or heard anything from her since her songs years and years ago. I was skeptical when I clicked on the video… But I’m glad. I will link it at the end of this little blog. She said something in the video that just completely struck me in a way I don’t think I had ever been struck before. Here is the quote…

“I was lonely. A lot of people are lonely. But I deserved to be lonely. Because I only told truth in one place and it was a notebook that nobody read.”

She was talking about mental health and her journey through life. If I remember correctly, I was almost moved to tears when I heard her say this. I realized in that moment why I felt the way I did and why a lot of experiences have shaped out the way they have. I have really only “spoken the truth” while I have coached over the years. Especially in the last several years. Let me qualify that a little more… I haven’t been untruthful or told lies. But the only place I have let it all out has been while coaching or leading people. I have had people describe these moments as bright lights or an energy that can be felt. I have referenced the “flow state” of mind before. That raw, unfiltered sharing of information and thoughts. I believe that speaking the truth and flow state are the same thing for me.

When I heard this little quote form Jewel, I immediately opened up my notes app and wrote it down but I had no idea where or how to share it. I wasn’t using my blog then like I am now. I want this blog to be a place where I can embrace “speaking the truth” and my flow state of consciousness. Again… I don’t mean speaking the truth as in truth and lies, but speaking unfiltered and raw and putting it all out there. I guess this will be my notebook and I hope more people read it. Here is the video… It is long but worth it.